Coined, “The disease to please,” the word “no” is one of the most difficult words to utter in the human language. For many, to say ‘no’ brings up a mess of feelings including guilt, disappointment, ineffectiveness, or even fear of angering the person making the request.

Here are ten tips to make saying, “no” easier…

• No is easier to say when you provide a reason why. For example, “I’m sorry, I cannot work on Saturday, I’m having surgery.” Of course, if it isn’t the truth then you’re going to have some explaining to do! If you find providing a reason for your “no” is easier than just saying, No I cannot, then make sure your reason is truthful.
• You don’t have to give a reason for your no. A simple, “I’m sorry, I’m busy that day,” should be sufficient for anyone asking. Other common and vague explanations might be – “I’m not comfortable with that.” I’m really busy with several other projects right now.”
• If you have someone in mind for a project you are declining, offer to connect the two people or pass along contact information – provided you’re confident the person would be comfortable or interested taking on the project.
  For example, if someone approaches you to host a party or a client asks you to take on a new project – if you’re not interested and know of someone who would be – pass the information along. You’re able to help them find a possible solution and you don’t have to deal with the emotions saying “no” evokes.
• Remember the “no, but…” Use this when you’re willing to take on the project or task under different circumstances.
  For example, “No, however I can take on that project next month when my schedule is clearer.” Or “No but I can handle part of that task if you can find someone to handle the rest.”

Remember you have the right to say no, just as you have the right to say “let me think about it”, or “maybe”. Each answer, when given respectfully, will generally be received respectfully. Saying “No” is better than saying “I’ll try” or “yes” and then failing to deliver.

Learning to say “no”, makes life a whole lot easier. If you’re struggling with the words, start small. Say no to things you’re comfortable with. Practice saying no to bigger and more important questions. At the end of the day, honesty is the best policy – honesty with yourself and with those who ask you to commit to something or to take on a task. Anything else just causes problems, resentment, anxiety, guilt and more.